I was different. I wanted to become someone.

I was in the sixth grade. She said I could not go to school anymore. I did not agree with her decision because I wanted to have an education. She was cooking tajadas and beans in the kitchen. From the outside you could smell the food that was being cooked. The smell of the tajadas and beans combined made you hungry even if you were not. The beans smelled like earth and the tajadas smelled like fresh fried fruit. The flames of the fire could embrace you. She was impatient, walking back and forth. I had never see her acting like that before.

Before I opened the door of the kitchen I had a premonition that something bad was going to happen. In the morning she had told me to not go to school. My mother Lorena looked like a zombie, with eyes like a frozen fish. Her curly hair was like a wild jungle; her voice sounded like the c roaring of lion. I felt small. When I looked into her eyes I saw sadness and fear. She was moving her arms, strong from hard work, while she was talking to me. I had the impression that something sad had happened to her in the past that she did no like to talk about. I felt like something was squeezing my heart. I did not want to hurt her but I wanted to be true to myself.

It was a Monday at school. As always on Mondays, every single student formed a straight line in front of the flag. All of us were wearing white shirts and blue pants or skirts. We looked like doves in the sky. I always had to carry the flag. I had the highest score in my classes out of all the students. I had the honor of carrying the flag. I liked my math class because I felt like I had some kind of power and it made me feel good about myself. I could correct the teacher and tell her what was wrong even though it was just a math problem. I did my homework before class because I didn’t have time to do it at home. Every day as always I got up at 3:00 am to feed the chickens, ducks, geese, pigs and rabbits. I had to milk twenty- two cows. I had to clean the troughs where the cows and horses drank water. I liked to do the work but I always thought that I could do something different.

That day when I came home from school, she was cleaning the dishes from the beans and the tajadas, which was rare because she never washed the dishes. She was splashing the water and washing the dishes quickly. She turned around and said, “Didn’t I tell you not to go to school? You don’t listen.” When she told me that I felt my blood go to my head and my face turn red. I did not like the way that she tried to control me. She had plans for me but I had different expectations.

Her father had not wanted her to go to school. He said that women are just useful in the kitchen. Her dreams of going to school were shut down in 9th grade. She was pregnant when she was sixteen. She was smart and she wanted to go to school but she couldn’t. She believed what my grandfather told her about girls and school and she wanted me to believe that too. Today I am writing my personal statement and planning to go to college but I always remember the first of many times that I had to stand up for myself and defend what I believe in.

By,
Refugee Foster Child

We really enjoyed all of the creative quilt squares that the children made this year. (By the way, call us if you didn’t get to make one and we will send you materials in the mail.) Next year is our 30th anniversary and we will unveil the completed quilt. A big shout out to Denise, an ADOPT birth grandma, that is so generously donating her time, skill, expertise and labor to make this quilt happen! And a big thank you to all of our family donations that just about covered the costs of the party, which helps us to focus our resources on the programs. We saw a lot more domestic families come this year and there seemed to be a strong network being built. That is always the goal of these parties – that families can connect and get support from one another, as well as to Adopt.

Over the years, we have noticed a trend that attendance is decreasing. Because of the intensive labor that goes into these parties and the decrease in staff, we are considering combining our annual picnic and love party. We would love to get feedback from families about how this might effect your families desire to participate. Let us know what you think!

I love the holidays, Thanksgiving in particular. It is a day of festivities, food, family, and a day to speak out about being “thankful.” What a great way to start out the season. Our family tradition is that each person around the table full of food says one thing to express their “gratitude” or thanks.

This year, there is so much to celebrate. The economic climate has made it difficult for the past few years, but we are here, and continuing the work in which we feel such passion. We have an amazing staff, wonderful families, and of course, fantastic children that have joined their families this year and in years past.

Programs are suffering during these hard times. Money is difficult to come by, so we have so little to offer the orphanages around the world. We are in need of your help; we are a non-profit and 100% of donations actually really go to the designated programs.

We are about ready to have our annual brunch for Birth Mothers; a wonderful day of support and love for the women who bravely made adoption decisions. We want to provide more assistance for scholarships and aid to these women to help get them on their feet. We had a school age one day program to talk about adoption, the kids were such great artists and shared their experiences with one another. I can’t wait to do more of these. Of course, our annual “LOVE” party is coming soon in February. It is a day we all enjoy so much. Seeing the families, the little kids, and the older ones as well, contributes to the passion that we all so strongly feel.

I have just returned from an adventurous trip to Lesotho, a small country fully surrounded by South Africa. Visiting several orphanages and playing with kids small and tall, I returned home knowing that we need to provide educational opportunities for these children so that it will change their lives in the future. This country is trying so hard, and like many countries, poverty and social norms, leave children in need of permanent families. We are also excited to launch or renew our program in Bulgaria. And there is more on the horizon.

My thanks and gratitude for being part of helping build your families; for having a wonderful family of my own built by adoption; for a sensitive and caring staff; for the many blessings that I have received during my life; for good health: for happiness: and for the joy of a new granddaugher, whose smile lights up my life.

Enjoy this holiday season and may your blessings be great. Please remember us, during the season of giving. We really need your help. My sincerest thanks and gratitude to all.

Lynne Silver (formally Lynne Jacobs)
“oh yes, I changed my name to my original birth name, and it feels wonderful”

UNICEF does amazing things, but it has killed the opportunity for thousands of children to leave permanent orphanage care to have a loving families of their own. I have worked in adoptions my entire career, over 35 years. UNICEF was always against international adoption, and publicly stated when the Hague was introduced that children were better off in institutional care in their home country than with a loving families in a different countries. It seems strange to want children to live with the permanent effects of orphanage life, possibly unable to care for themselves or have families of their own just so that they have a “good” cultural identity I have been in orphanages around the world; what is good cultural identity in an orphanage? Good local food? Good local relationships? Good role models? So where is the strong identity that they have gained compared to the forever love and and greater potential for a successful future? Adoption agencies who have witnessed this change are mortified that those who claim to care and honor children, don’t!

I am sincerely bothered by the lack of willingness on the part of UNICEF to receive advise from experts who have spent years representing orphans and understanding the issues. UNICEF claims to be experts in order to change laws prohibiting international adoptions, yet Harvard professors are not respected for their research and work. Adoption workers have been accused of having financial gain; yes, if it means we have jobs. We are among the lowest paid professionals of any career, having saved lives and built families forever. I would be thrilled to lay off staff because institutional children have found permanent loving homes in their country; but it is sad to reduce services because we have to leave children in orphanages with no hope!

Read: The Washington Times Article on UNICEF and Adoption