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Can the birth mother change your mind?

How long after adoption can the birth mother change her mind?



Best practice tells us you should be free of major medications and have had enough time to reconsider your adoption plan.  Does it still feel right to you?  Every state is different and the actual process and time frame depends on the laws of your state. Many states require you to be discharged from the hospital or a certain number of hours or days to have passed. 


In Hawaii the adoption consent is legally binding when you have signed them in front of the notary AND you have placed the baby with the adoptive family. Both things have to occur. You can change your mind about the adoption any time until both of those things have occurred.  While every adoption plan is different, in Hawaii most women choose to have the adoptive family discharge the baby from the hospital. Most hospitals in Hawaii want a power of attorney signed at discharge so the adoptive family can make medical decisions while you can go home and sleep in your own bed and take a real shower and recover physically. (This power of attorney can be revoked at any time and does not make the adoption legally binding).  When you feel ready to sign the adoption papers your social worker will review the consents with you and you will sign them in front of a notary.  If the adoptive family has the baby they are binding right away so we want you to feel confident and sure in your decision.  


In California you can change your mind up until the relinquishments are signed by you and filed and acknowledged by the California Department of Social Services (CDSS) in Sacramento. In California you can not sign the relinquishments until you have been discharged from the hospital.  California hospitals use a form at discharge called an AD22 that allows a birth mother to give the hospital permission to discharge her baby to a potential adoptive family for adoption planning.  It gives the potential adoptive parents permission to make medical decisions for the baby before the actual adoption relinquishment papers are signed. You can still change your mind about the adoption after you sign that form.  After you are discharged and feel ready to sign you would meet with your agency social worker and 2 witnesses to sign the relinquishment documents. Usually people need a few days to physically recover from delivery and feel ready to sign. While most people feel ready to sign within a week or so there is no required time frame.  After the relinquishment is signed it is held for one business day and then sent to CDSS. CDSS has up to 10 business days to process them, or acknowledge them, which makes them legally binding.  Sometimes CDSS processes them faster than the 10 business days so we want to make sure you feel sure about your decision at the time you sign. For some women they prefer a clearer or faster option.  California also offers an additional form that can be signed to make the relinquishment binding at the close of the next business day; this is an optional form that is offered but not required.   


If you ever need more time or feel unsure we encourage you to speak up. This is your adoption plan and you should only sign when you feel ready. If you change your mind and decide to paren,t we are here to support your choice!

  





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If you found this article useful, you might also find this useful: What is open adoption?

 

  • If you would like more information on adopting a child from India, click here.

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  • Adopt International is a non-profit organization. We provide extensive support and assistance to expectant mothers who are considering adoption for their child. Learn more here.

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