Can you change your mind?

How long after adoption can a birth mother change her mind?

Our experience shows us that birth mothers should be free of major medications and have had enough time to reconsider her adoption plan.  Does it still feel right to her to place her child for adoption?  Every state process is different and the actual process and time frame depends on the laws of your state. Many states require you to be discharged from the hospital or a certain number of hours or days to have passed to make the decision final. 

In Hawaii the adoption consent is legally binding when you have signed the consent in front of the notary AND you have placed the baby with the adoptive family. Both things must occur for an adoption to occur. You can change your mind about the adoption any time until both of those things have happened.  Every adoption plan is different. In Hawaii, most women decide to have the adoptive family discharge the baby from the hospital. A power of attorney at discharged is required by most hospitals in Hawaii so the adoptive family can make medical decisions. This allows you to go home and sleep in your own bed and take a real shower and recover physically. (The power of attorney can be revoked at any time and does not make the adoption legally binding).  When you feel ready to sign the adoption papers, your social worker will review the consent documents with you and you will sign them in front of a notary.  If the adoptive family has the baby, the consent documents are binding immediately so we want you to feel confident and sure in your decision.  

In California, you can change your mind up until the relinquishments are signed by you and filed and acknowledged by the California Department of Social Services (CDSS) in Sacramento. In California, you cannot sign the relinquishments until you have been discharged from the hospital.  California hospitals use form AD22 at discharge that allows a birth mother to give the hospital permission to discharge her baby to a potential adoptive family for adoption planning.  The signed AD22 gives the potential adoptive parents permission to make medical decisions for the baby before the adoption relinquishment papers are signed. You can still change your mind about the adoption after you sign AD22.  After you are discharged and feel ready to sign the relinquishment documents, you would meet with your agency social worker and 2 witnesses to sign the relinquishment documents. It is typical for to need a few days to physically recover from delivery and feel ready to sign. While most people feel ready to sign within a week or so, there is no required time frame.  After the relinquishment is completed and signed, it is held for one business day and then sent to CDSS. CDSS has up to 10 business days to process the forms, or acknowledge receipt, which makes the adoption legally binding.  Sometimes CDSS processes them faster than the 10 business days so we want to make sure you feel sure about your decision at the time you sign. For some women, a clearer or faster option is preferred.  California also provides an option to make the relinquishment binding at the close of the next business day; this is an optional form that is offered but not required.   

If you ever require more time or feel unsure about your decision, we encourage you to speak up. This is your adoption plan and you should only sign when you feel ready. If you change your mind and decide to parent, we are also here to support your choice!

Ready for more information, read How to place a baby for adoption: essential guide (7 steps, read Make an Adoption Plan

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If you found this article useful, you might also find this useful: What is open adoption?

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