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How to find adoptive parents

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Taking the first steps into finding adoptive parents for your baby can be a daunting prospect, and it can be hard to know where to start. 

 

Rather than rushing to make an agreement with the first prospective adoptive parents you find, it is advisable to take the time to consider all the available options and your wishes for your child’s future.

 

  1. First steps when finding adoptive parents for your baby

a. Type of adoption

b. Personal preferences

2.  How to find adoptive parents for your baby

a. Adoption agency

3. Finding adoptive parents for your baby - what's next?

 

1) First steps when finding adoptive parents for your baby

 

In the ideal scenario, the search for adoptive parents will leave you feeling confident that you've found the perfect family for your baby. As an expectant mother, this is important for your own health and wellbeing, as it will give you peace of mind in the months and years ahead.

 

The first thing to remember when making enquiries into finding an adoptive family for your baby is that you are in control every step of the way. 

 

Having a conversation about adoption with an ethical, licensed adoption agency does not mean you are committing to this for you and your baby. Educating yourself of all the options available is part of the process. Adoption might the right option for you, or it might not. Now is your opportunity to learn about the process, and about what it means for you and your baby, and make an informed choice when the time comes.

 

It's also important to remember that nobody should ever pressure you into making a decision regarding adoption. Simply making enquiries into finding adoptive parents for your baby is in no way a binding decision.

 

So if you are investigating finding an adoptive family for your baby, you need to know right from the start that, regardless of the family, you are the one in control of the process.


 

a) Type of adoption

If you are considering placing your baby for adoption, one of the first decisions to make is the type of adoption you would prefer. This not only affects the contact you have with your child after adoption takes place, but also impacts how a suitable adoptive family is chosen.

 

Here are some of the different types of adoptions that are available.

 

Closed adoption:

In a closed adoption, very little information is shared between the birth and adoptive parents. You may have the opportunity to select the potential adoptive family, but their identity will be withheld and no direct contact will take place between you and the family. 

 

Closed adoptions are now relatively rare, but some birth mothers still choose this route for personal reasons. If you choose to pursue a closed adoption, you will need the support of an adoption agency to facilitate the process.

 

Semi-open adoption:

In a semi-open adoption, the expectant mother and potential adoptive parents have contact during the pregnancy and birth. After adoption, if you wish, the adoptive family will send periodic updates about the child, usually through a third party.

 

Open adoption:

Open adoptions facilitate a high level of communication between the birth mother, adoptive parents, and the child. You have the opportunity to choose and meet with the potential adoptive parents before the birth, as well as decide on the level of contact you will have with the child, once adoption is finalized. 

 

At Adopt International, we advocate for open adoption and only place children into families who are prepared to embrace an open adoption, as we feel this is often the best long-term option for both the birth family and adopted child. It also gives you the flexibility to go from a closed or semi-open adoption to a fully open adoption if you decide that feels better to you post placement. 


 

b) Personal preferences

 

In all cases, we encourage expectant mothers to consider what the ideal adoption scenario would be for their child. 

 

For example, you might want to think about the following:

  • A couple, a single mother, two dads or two moms.

  • Race

  • Religion

  • Values

  • Personal beliefs

  • Location 

  • Family size

  • Hobbies and interests

 

If you try and visualise what your ‘ideal’ family might look like for your child, this will help you find the process of choosing a family for your baby much easier.

 

And of course, if you don’t have strong preferences, that’s fine too. For some women, once they start to look at profiles, a family jumps out at them as the right fit, even though they can’t explain why. 

 

2) How to find adoptive parents for your baby

 

It’s estimated that in the USA, there are over 2million families waiting to adopt. This is a far greater number of families than there are children available for adoption. 

 

So if you decide that adoption is the right option for you, it is almost certain that you will find the right adoptive parents for your baby. 

 

 

a) Adoption agency

Using the services of an adoption agency can help ease the stress of finding adoptive parents for your baby. 

 

Agency staff can draw up a shortlist of potential adoptive parents based on your preferences. Waiting adoptive parents typically make profiles about their families so you can look through families and choose one or two or three that feel like a good fit. The agency will then facilitate contact with the families you like on your own terms to help you decide the family that is the right one for your baby. The agency can also aid you in creating an adoption plan, answer any questions you may have about the adoption process, and provide you with access to practical legal and financial support, as well as counseling to help you work through the emotional side of adoption, both now and in the future.

 

3) Finding adoptive parents for your baby - what's next?

 

Once you've chosen a potential adoptive family for your baby, the time comes to think about the other details of your adoption plan. 

 

This includes deciding on how much contact you wish to have with the potential adoptive parents before, during, and after the birth of the baby. You have control throughout the whole process and should not feel pressured into agreeing to more contact than you feel comfortable with.

 

You will also get to decide what happens during the few days in the hospital after the birth - for example, you may wish to be present when the potential adoptive parents meet the baby, or you may prefer to have the baby taken to another room when the first meeting occurs. 

 

It is this type of fine detail that an agency will help you think about and hold your hand through.

 

Building a respectful and communicative relationship with the potential adoptive family is one of the cornerstones of a successful open adoption. It is important to remember that there is flexibility in any decision you make, and you can change your mind about any details in your adoption plan if you don't feel it is working for you. 

 

If you found this article useful, you might also find this useful: Giving baby up for adoption.

 

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If you are pregnant and considering placing your baby for adoption, you deserve to have a respectful and positive experience.

 

We can help every step of the way.

Our adoption counselors can:

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Help decide if adoption is right for you

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Advise you of your rights, and connect you to resources

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Help you choose an adoptive family

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Assist you with obtaining adoption expenses

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Help you learn more about open adoption

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Support you before and after the birth of your baby

You are in control, and can choose what your adoption plan will be.

About us

At Adopt International, we believe it is important that you make this decision on your own terms and surround yourself with helpful, supportive professionals.

We have over 40 years of experience working with pregnant women, which has taught us that in order to have a successful adoption it is imperative that a birth mother is comfortable and confident in the choice she makes.

We are advocates for open adoption. Research shows it is the best kind of adoption plan for birth families, adoptive families, and adoptees.

Words from birth mothers

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“I want to thank Adopt International for all they have done for me and my daughter and her family.

 

They truly know the meaning of open adoption and making it work for us all.”

- Monica

“From the second I walked in the door I felt like I was in a very warm and supportive environment.”

- Bethany

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“You didn’t pressure me into anything.

You held my hand all the way through the process and made sure I knew everything about placing my child for adoption.

I am forever grateful for your agency.”

- Birth mother

“Well, I chose Adopt International because the awesome family I chose to be my birth daughter’s adoptive parents were already working with y’all, and when I met with y’all myself, you were so pro birth parent, understanding, and down to Earth in a situation that was straight up madness.

I have love, love, loved being in contact with y’all over time and seeing that you really do care, just like you showed me over a decade ago!”

- Myra

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¿Considerando dar en adopción? 

Si estás embarazada y consideras dar en adopción a tu bebé, mereces tener una experiencia respetuosa y positiva. Te empoderaremos para que puedes tomar la mejor decisión para usted. Tenemos trabajadoras sociales que hablan español para ayudarte y responder a tus preguntas.

 

Nuestras consejeras de adopción pueden:

  • Ayudarle a decidir si adopción es la mejor opción para ti

  • Apoyar en su decisión de criar a tu niño o por familia adoptiva.  

  • Ayudar a aprender sobre la adopción abierta. 

  • Ayudarle a elegir una familia adoptiva

  • Informarle sobre sus derechos y a poner en contacto con los servicios que se requieran. 

  • Asistirle para conseguir ayuda en los gastos de adopción. 

  • Apoyarle antes y después del nacimiento de su bebé. 

 

Usted tiene el control, y puede elegir el mejor plan de adopción que mejor le convenga

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