Putting a child up for adoption – what to expect

If you are considering placing your child for adoption, finding the right experts to help you through the process is crucial.

 

Expectant mothers who are considering placing their baby for adoption need to feel empowered that they are making the right decision for themselves and their child.

 

You will probably have a lot of questions going through your mind, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. It can help to have an overview of the whole adoption process before you make a decision as to whether it might be the right option for you and your baby.

 

Here’s what we’ll cover on this page:

 

1. Making the decision to place your child for adoption

2. The adoption plan

3. Finding potential adoptive parents

4. The hospital plan

5. Signing relinquishments or consents

 

1) Making the decision to place your child for adoption

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A birth mother is a woman who has given birth to a child, chosen to place her baby for adoption and has signed relinquishment, consent or surrender paperwork. 

 

The term birth mother is not used until after the birth of the baby, and only if and when the relinquishment or consent process is fully completed.

 

Up until this point in time, the expectant mother is under no obligation to proceed with any potential adoption agreement, hence why she should not be referred to as the birth mother. 

 

Potential adoptive parents should be mindful that it could be considered disrespectful or insensitive to call someone 'a birth mother', before she has delivered and signed adoption paperwork. 

2) What is a 'first mother'?

Although the term ‘birth mother’ or ‘birth mom’ is the most commonly accepted way to refer to a mother who has chosen to place their baby for adoption, you may also hear 'first mother' used in the same context. We believe that each woman should chose the terminology that she prefers. In adoption there is not a one size fits all answer. Each person is an individual and may feel different about their decision and process.  

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3) Support and resources for birth mothers

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It is vital that birth mothers continue to feel supported long after the adoption process is finalized. 

 

The whole process can be a bittersweet journey, and the birth mother (and sometimes birth father) often makes the largest sacrifice for the happiness and wellbeing of their child. 

 

Feelings of loss and grief are completely normal for birth mothers, but the ongoing services of support networks can enable the healing process to begin.

 

In an open adoption, it can be hugely beneficial for the birth mother to have an ongoing relationship with their child. 

 

Birth mothers who keep in contact with their child and their adoptive family can rest assured in their child's wellbeing, helping to bring peace of mind. This scenario can also be beneficial to the child, reassuring them that the decision their birth parents made was based on love.

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4) The hospital plan

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As the birth of your baby becomes imminent, you may start to worry about what happens at the hospital. 

 

This is where an adoption hospital plan comes in, as it outlines exactly how you wish every step of the process to occur. This is where you are again reminded that your needs come first and you are the boss of your hospital experience. 

 

The hospital plan will include details such as who will be present at the birth, who will feed and change the baby, and when and how the potential adoptive parents will meet the baby.

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5) Signing relinquishments or consents

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This should only happen once you feel confident in your decision. It is normal to re-make your adoption choice once the baby is born and you can take a moment to check in with yourself to make sure this still feels like the right decision for you and your baby. In many states you can’t sign the legally binding paperwork until you have been discharged from the hospital. 

 

If you found this article useful, you might also find this useful: Looking for parents to adopt my baby.

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Here at Adopt International, we feel strongly that the support provided to women and birth mothers before, during, and after the adoption process can have a huge impact on their emotional health and well-being. As such, we endeavor to provide access to a whole range of support services, including:

 

• Reassurance that we will support you in whatever decision you make.

• Help with choosing the right adoptive family for you and your child.

• Facilitating meetings with other birth parents to hear first-hand experiences.

• Support in creating a hospital plan that meets your needs.

• Ongoing therapy and/or peer to peer support.

• Lifelong services free of charge.

 

If you found this article useful, you might also find this useful: Birth parents

 

• If you are pregnant and wondering whether adoption could be the right option for you and your baby, you can contact us any time on (800)-969-6665 or by filling out this form.

 

• Adopt International is a non-profit organization. We provide extensive support and assistance to expectant mothers who are considering adoption for their child. Learn more here.

 

• If you are a family who is considering adopting a child, learn more here.